He was having a painful bowel movement, from the sounds that he was making out of both his mouth and anus. There was moaning, groaning, explosions of gas and he was whimpering. I think I might have even heard him softly praying for it to end. Never in my life have I made so much noise passing my excrement, and this was nothing like anything I had ever heard from anyone else before. It was unusual enough that I wondered if I should call an ambulance.
This was in one of the bathrooms at my job. I was there to urinate. I wash my hands before I urinate, so he must have thought whoever had come in to the bathroom during his crapping had only washed their hands and left, and that he was exiting the bathroom stall to an empty room. He was surprised to find me still there, embarrassed that we both knew he had just been in such evacuating distress. Even more embarrassing for him is that he and I are romantic rivals. He has a crush on one of my “Work Wives”, and he is jealous every time that he sees us together. He is quite childish about it. As soon as we locked eyes, he knew that I was going to tell my work wife about the disgusting thing he had just done. It was just the same for him as if he had walked out to find her there.
Did I tell her? Of course I did, just as he expected that I would. He probably also was able to predict that I was going to write about it for the rest of the world to enjoy too.