Only a small percentage of marriages are happy ones, and if you are happily married you must know how much it makes all of the rest of us feel like losers.
There was no fighting in my failed marriage tonight and my moody teenage son was in one of his more pleasant phases. I was angered as soon as I woke up but it turned out to be just another one of those times where poor communication leads to misunderstanding. I have spent over 20 years trying to get my Ex to let me know what she is planning to do and when. It makes it easier for me to plan around or with her. Tonight, they were going to dinner without me AND they were going to eat at an Italian restaurant that I like but that they both complain about and refuse to go to whenever I suggest it. Ouch, once and then twice. I was angry as I showered, but not overly so. I am an emotionally battered husband. I have grown used to the abuse. The surprise ending was that they came home with some pizza and had brought me an eggplant hero. So, it was good that I did not lose my temper and curse them out. Of course, it all could have been avoided if they had told not told me that they were eating there without me. They did not change their minds because it had upset me. They had just done a bad job of expressing to me in words what was in their collective minds. Why an eggplant hero? Who knows?
The fighting in our house was on the bottom floor tonight. The couple who live on the first floor of our shared house were have a loud argument. I was on the computer and listening to a baseball news podcast so I did not have music playing, but I might have heard the fight anyway because the guy was loud. I could even hear the cursing and that the fight was about money. I would guess that most of the fights that couples have are about money. Sadly, in my marriage, we fight about nearly everything. I do not like the way that she looks at me when I first see her. Stuff like that. I recently heard a theory that interracial couples fight less. My marriage is interracial. My Ex is a Filipino and I am a mixture of several different ethnicities. The couple that lives beneath me is also interracial if you consider being Jewish as race and not just a religion. I am not sure how Jewish people feel about that. The guy is Eastern European, and I would guess he is Greek. We are an International House of Fighting.
Comically, when my Ex and son came home only my son had heard the fighting. We both laughed at how oblivious to the world around her that my Ex is. I could still hear the fighting while we were upstairs laughing about it but she had not noticed it even though she had walked into the house and right past the thin wall that the fight was happening behind. I jokingly suggested to my son that I would go downstairs and show the guy how to give his wife an even better cursing out, sharing with him my years of experience. We laughed, happy that the fights were not ours tonight.