Drunk

When I warned my co-worker that I think he might have a drinking problem it was in no way hypocritical of me, even though I drink excessively and often. He was excitedly looking forward to taking a night off from work so that he could get drunk, alone in his apartment. In my mind, that is a waste of valuable time off from work. It is bad enough when we get drunk alone in our homes on our regular days off. Taking a special day off to do this was what concerned me about him. I have enjoyed approximately 40 years of drunkenness and whenever I skip work to drink it is with other people and usually for some event that was scheduled for a time that conflicted with my responsibilities.

I have, of course, missed work on occasions when I have sickened myself from too much drinking while I was off from work and did not have enough time to sober up. Some people would say that being sick from drinking means that I have a drinking problem, but I do not think so. I did not think that my drinking was a problem when I was drunk all day every day, which was from the late 1970’s until the early 2000’s. Nowadays, I drink only on my night off from work, and usually not both of my nights off during the week, just one. Compared to my younger self, I am a lightweight. My posts and comments on social media would make it appear that I am drunk most of the time, but that is because my drunken adventures are the things that are worth writing about. When I am sober, life is boringly relaxed. Some of the things I write about are stupid and crazy enough that you would assume that I was drunk when I wrote the words, but that is never the case. I can not write when I am drunk, and everyone on the internet is surely grateful.

The decision to live my life as a drunk was a conscious one. I clearly remember the day that I asked myself, “Will you live as a drunk?” and I chose that path. Being happy when I am drunk was one of the few things in life that I could understand, and that I can share with other people. It is one of the few things I have in common with the human race. Loving music is the other one. Drinking alcohol and listening to music is how I spend time with my friends, and how I make new friends. It is my favorite way to entertain myself and I stopped doing things that I do not like to do a long time ago. Another reason that I have a reputation of being drunk most of the time is because my friends only see me when I am drinking. When I am sober, I am at home alone or doing something with my son.

Being a drunk has often made me a lousy friend, family member or employee. It is a selfish way to live. I am focused on having a good time, as often as possible. Drunk people are notoriously unreliable and absent minded. When you add my having the Asperger syndrome to my heavy drinking, it is purely dumb luck that I have any friends left. Many of my drunken misadventures have ended with me in some sort of legal or medical trouble. There are some nights when I know in advance that I am going to dive head first into the darkness, not knowing what will happen next. Those nights are becoming more uncommon now that I am growing older. It takes me much longer to heal up now after a night like that, and perhaps I am becoming more mature in my old age. Most of the time, when I start drinking there is a certain level of inebriation that I wish to achieve and then I try to stay there until it is time to sleep. Even with all my years of experience, alcohol will sometimes surprise me and I am drunker than I originally planned to be. When you see me drinking shots of Jagermeister, you will know that it is one of my bad nights.

Just writing about drinking has made me thirsty. Meet me at the bar in about half an hour.

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